tysontrips

From his underground laboratories in Sao Paulo, Brazil it's tysontrips travelblog:

18 June, 2005

Cowboy Up, Y'all
I know I should just move on because dwelling on my recent "incident" involving a man with a gun is neither productive nor healthy. But the event has once again renewed my intense hatred for weapons of all kinds. They are just so damn effective at doing their job, which is killing, crippling and maiming. What a concept! One of the problems with the potential offenders I encounter in the street who wield weapons is this: I never know if they have anything to lose or if they are at such a point of desperation that slashing someone's (my) throat for 10 dollars and a cell phone is worth the risk of going to jail. I just never know if a man is going to use his weapon or not. Now, I am not trying to say I am crazy, but my belief is that someone doesn't have to be any more mentally unstable or desperate than myself to use their weapon. All it takes is to have a weapon and be carrying it. If a situation escalates into unpredictability or high levels of anger or desperation, of course the weapon carrier will use their knife or gun. I can think of several examples where this was the case. One I forgot to mention was when I was only in 8th grade. A kid who had been a little annoyed with me in one of my classes confronted me after school in the parking lot. Words led to more words led to me antagonizing him into utter frustration led to him brandishing a huge survival knife. Well, maybe he didn't have any intention of using it, but I am sure he would have had the situation continued to escalate (instead I just waited until the next day to beat him up at school and got suspended). But it scared the hell out of me. Another time more recently, my brother told me about a situation he was involved in that included the unlikely combination of road rage, spaghetti tossing, and eventually a shot being fired at his car.

Above: Some people just need to settle down (not pictured: innocent strands of spaghetti splattered on the pavement

Graduate School: Not Just For Nerds Anymore
Based on these situations and others, for my final paper in my very last graduate school class called Injury Epidemiology, I wrote a 15 page diatribe about why I think gun control is a good idea in the US (unfortunately, the best statistics show that gun control is not successful in the US). The professor for this class wanted us to believe that gun ownership by the general populous reduces crime. This is because, he says, most of the violent crime is committed by a small fraction of the population with illegal firearms. Therefore, having a licensed firearm could help to protect us from these dangerous criminals and violent crime. Oh, and the government. Personally, I had to disagree with this logic. I say, if our country actually controlled guns, such as not allowing the high-powered gun manufacturers lobby to continue to produce such a massive amount of firearms that inevitably flood into the streets, then the criminals would not have access to guns and homicide by firearm would not be the 2nd leading cause of death for the age groups of 15-35. My professor would then argue the following: Well, then the criminals would use knives and bats and sticks instead and there would be just as many incidents. Maybe this is so. But knives and bats and sticks do not cause the same amount of devastation, morbidity and mortality that guns do. I personally don't think our US culture is inherently so much more violent than, let's say, the English culture. But our murder rate is astronomically higher. And the only difference is due to firearms. Shooting to kill is much easier than trying to kill someone with a piece of wood. I think. And putting more firearms on the street just causes an arms race. Unfortunately, the world now knows how dangerous and powerful the highest-tech weapons such as nukes are. Well, guns are the nukes of personal weaponry. And have gun, will use it. Just ask some of those rappers from the 90's. Oh wait, that's not possible, they are in jail on weapons charges or were shot to death.

Wasn't This Traveblog S'posed To Be About Brazil?
Well, you've got some nerve talking to me like that. Alright, I will throw you a bone. I am absolutely amazed with the modernity of Brasil. Maybe it's just Sao Paulo that is so developed, but I have a feeling the entire country has at least a similar kind of infrastructure. Some of the malls, for instance, are nicer than any I have seen in the US. Malls? Wow, that's impressive, Sir Boring. But truly, Brasil seems to have many of the problems of a 1st world country (increasing obesity and diabetes, violence, a large gap in wealth between the haves and the have-nots. However, this country also has third world problems such as high unemployment, high rates of infectious disease (Attention US citizens: Brasil, like most every other civilized country in the world, has free health care--many consider that a human right!), and tens of millions of homeless, hungry and impoverished.

Speaking Of Hunger...
Let's see, how can I drive this point home? One fascinating feature of Brasil's emergence onto the development scene is the progression of their version of the potato chip (sorry, I just got back from the store so I am a little biased in my examples). Brasil are either 10 years ahead or 10 years behind the United States in potato chip development. It's really tough to say. But one thing's for sure: I have just polished off a bag of Cheetos(R) X-Burger Puffs. These beauties are puffed corn chips that have the unique flavor of--are you ready?--disgusting, preserved, bagged cheeseburgers. Amazing! They come in your typical crunchy plastic sack. There are two different varieties of puffs with artificial tastes and colors: A dark brown puff which actually tastes like greasy, salty, cheap hamburger meat, (puke!) and a light brown-colored puff which has the equivalent taste of generic processed cheese slices (hurl!). They are disturbingly accurate. And yes, I ate the entire bag in this sitting.

ruffles

In my initial infatuation with the idea of a cheeseburger chip, I also happened to notice that the brand Ruffles has come out with another clever flavor created and marketed exclusively for Brazilian palates. I had to purchase, and have just broken into my first (and be god merciful, the last) sack of "churrasco" flavored, ridged potato chips. Yes, that is the flavor of grilled Brazilian plains-grazed cattle meat put into a potato chip. It tastes like burning. Or rather, it tastes like a potato chip sprinkled with the ash of charcoal briquettes from your last barbecue (not good). Damn right you bet I can't eat just one. I can hardly choke even one down. There is something to be said for the preservative and faux-flavor industries, definitely something. Anyway, the real seller to these churrasco chips is the following: Not only do they have the taste of slowly roasted charcoal briquettes, but through some wild promotion, they come with a free package of mayonnaise inside. Why? To squeeze onto your chips, dummy Any more questions? I think they should have a mini bottle of lighter fluid to complete the barbecue theme but I guess that's why I don't have a job in Brasil. Wait, yes I do. Summarizing, maybe talking about potato chips was not an accurate way to describe the modernization of Brasil. But in order to grasp some difficult concepts sometimes you just have to use metaphor, or in this case, your imagination and faulty logic. But I work with what I've got. And I don't got much.

Author's note: Since the writing of this, I have also discovered the following flavors of potato chip here in Brasil: ham, turkey breast, sausage, bacon, pizza, chicken filet, shrimp, etc... dude,