tysontrips

, September, 2005

Today I will discuss some important issues from the academic and entertainment world which have been on my mind as I have been traveling through some stunning areas in western Brazil.

Geology:

If you were to travel upstream by boat from the mouth of the Rio de la Plata - which empties into the bay between Buenos Aires, Argentina and Montevideo, Uruguay - you could follow the river's path north into the smaller tributaries of the river: The Rio de la Plata leads to the Rio Paraná in northeastern Argentina, which leads to the Rio Paraguay running the length of landlocked Paraguay, which leads to the Rio Miranda near the Brazil/Paraguay/Bolivia tri-frontier, which leads to the Rio da Prata in western Brazil, which bubbles from the earth not far from the geographical center of the South American continent. Along this several thousand kilometer journey you would notice the river narrowing and becoming more shallow, foliage increasing in density and lushness, the animal life appearing more vibrant and prehistoric, and quizzically, the water becoming clearer - until you reach the source of the Rio da Prata, a cool natural spring bursting from deep under the earth's surface.

Nothing seems too unusual about all this until you strap on a mask and snorkel and plunge into the crystal clear pool of water which sits at the source of this spring. Immediately you notice that you are not the first to make the fascinating voyage from the mouth of the river to its source. Literally thousands of large, colorful and curious fish inhabit every section of these spring-fed rivers. Hundreds of species, from tiny eels to enormous catfish, lurk in the shadows of the river banks or swim in and out of underwater, rocky limestone caverns or munch on aquatic plants or other fish. The second wonder you would notice as you - in full snorkel gear and wetsuit - drift lazily down the river with the slow-moving current is that the water remains 100% transparent. It's like swimming in a fish tank, except - rather than them being confined to your artificial habitat - you are in their natural habitat. Due to the region's geologic makeup, all the water's impurities are calcified and sink to the river bottom, keeping the river impossibly translucent. It is possible to swim for miles downstream and still remain in these crystal clear conditions, interacting with the inquisitive (and tasty) river inhabitants. Surreal is just one word that can be used to describe the experience of exploring the hundreds of small rivers, deep caves and underground lakes in the Bonito region.

Above: The lazy river teems with life

Biology:

Even while earning a degree in biology during my four years at university, I never gave much thought to concepts of biodiversity, natural selection and speciation. Surely I knew the definition of them word for word come test time, and I understood the natural processes that guide them, but I never contemplated the real-world manifestations and importance of them. For the last four days I have been on an extended animal safari in western Brazil in an area of the world which undoubtedly has a higher number of unique animal species inhabiting its terrain than I have seen throughout my entire life.

Statistics and superlatives: Brazil's Pantanal (swamp) region is the largest inland swamp in the world (half the size of France). For the life of me I can't name even one other large, inland swamp on this planet in order to qualify this uber-specific superlative, but two things are for sure: these swamps likely exist. And this one is the biggest. And according to various sources, the swamp has the highest concentration of fauna in the western hemisphere. Still not impressed? I wasn't either...until I arrived here. With almost a completely flat, nearly treeless terrain, the Panantal is a fine place to view animals. Strange animals, which are only produced by one of several phenomenon: 'creation', 'intelligent design' or millions of years of evolution and speciation - characterized by enormous selection pressure - taking place in a unique, fertile ecosystem with abundant resources to support thousands of kinds of life, from bacteria to baffling bugs to durable palm trees to huge snails to all shapes, sizes and colors of freshwater fish such as piranhas to giant river otters and, formerly, giant ground sloths.

I viewed these wonders of biology by boat, four-wheel-drive truck, horseback, in the water and on foot. I went piranha fishing, swimming with caiman and saw tons of animals I hadn't even visualized previous to my visit: anacondas, giant anteaters, ariranhas (giant river otters) and armadillos, just to mention a few of the animals I came across whose names begin with 'A' (please see pictures in photo album). One morning, as I was absent-mindedly about to brush my teeth with the dirty swamp water which runs from the taps in the Pantanal, I received a reminder - in the form a small frog - not to do so, when the amphibian hopped out of the faucet (I must have scared him by turning on the water), landed on my toothbrush, shook his suction-cupped finger at me to remind me not to drink the water, then leapt away into his secret cave, a hole in the bathroom wall cement. At least a portion of the previous account is true.

Unfortunately, as with all ecosystems of the world, the Pantanal is being rapidly degraded. The formerly open plains are now tied and wrapped in a vast, net-like system of fences, which are used for the production of beef cattle. Habitat and species loss are significant. Only now, after visiting this enormous wildlife sanctuary do I realize why maintaining areas like the Pantanal, the Amazon and - just as importantly - the millions of other less-famous but equally as threatened ecosystems intact is vital to not only the future survival of these glorious plants, animals, and microbiotic life, but linked to the survival of humanity as well.

Above: Some of the Pantanal's best and brightest

This all sounds too cliché, so I am going to move on to one final and very contradictory - in light of what I have just been preaching - subject for which my interest has been rekindled by my visit to the wonderful Pantanal: That is the reality show I am going to create which not only celebrates the amazing biodiversity of the animals on earth, but it proves beyond a reasonable doubt which one is the best. It is the ultimate challenge in the category of survival of the fittest. It is:

Darwin’s Water Box

This is an idea which I am sure all normal individuals have entertained at some point. But I intend to make it a reality. A reality show, in fact. A few of my friends discussed the important details over several too many beers in NYC one night a year or so back. The first thing is to add the world’s toughest animals to Darwin's 'box' (it's really a giant circular tank 50 feet in diameter with 20 foot transparent walls for easy reality-show viewing, filled with five feet of water and the world's nine most badass and angry animals):

The Great White Shark
The African Lion
The Komodo Dragon
The Hippopotamus
The Rhinoceros
The African Tiger
The Grizzly Bear
The African Elephant
The Human (just for fun)

And there may be a few others I haven't mentioned here. What better way to celebrate the planet's diversity than by matching these aggressive animals against one another for an all-out battle royal. Animals are 'voted out' of the box when they are mercilessly destroyed and consumed by the others. If the show is a success, future episodes will have one-on-one battles in a tournament style format in order to prove which animal is the toughest and therefore most important. If you are interested please contact me. We will first send our proposal to the World Wildlife Fund (WWF), who, I am sure, will gladly sponsor the event on the grounds that we are promoting endangered species awareness. Besides that, it would be such a great marketing ploy to have our event sponsored by the WWF. I better quit while I am ahead (that time has long passed, my friend).

On a more serious note, please join me in sending your most sincere consideration and best wishes to those millions directly affected by Hurricane Katrina.